Reader situation
A suggestion appears: someone you might want to meet. You can accept it and send a quick hello, ignore it, or take five minutes to decide whether the conversation is worth having and how to start it well.
Central idea
An AI-suggested introduction is a hypothesis about relevance. The suggestion may be right, but it can only see what people have written down. It doesn’t know about timing, workload, sensitivities or a conflict of interest. Your job is to test the hypothesis before you act, and then write the invitation yourself. AI can help find relevance. People still create the trust that makes a conversation worth having.
Practical steps
- Reason for suggestion. Ask what likely connects you: a shared Circle, posts on the same topic, complementary expertise, a similar challenge. If you can name the reason in one sentence, you have the start of your message. If you can’t, treat that as a signal to slow down. A suggestion based on a single shared keyword, or on a Circle you both joined but rarely use, may not reflect a real overlap in your work.
- Profile review. Read what the person says they are working on, what they are interested in and what they are open to. Pay attention to stated boundaries. Someone who says they are open to peer exchange but not to sales conversations has told you how to approach them, or whether to.
- Relevance and assumptions. Shared keywords are not the same as shared problems. Ask yourself:
- Would I want to talk to this person if nothing had suggested it?
- What could each of us get from the conversation, not only me?
- Am I assuming they have time, interest or seniority they may not have?
- Do I have a commercial or personal interest they should know about?
- Personal invitation. A good invitation does four things. It says honestly how you came across the person. It names the specific shared interest. It makes a small, bounded request, such as a 20-minute call or a question answered in writing. And it makes saying no easy. Keep it short enough to read in under a minute. If a tool offered draft wording, use it only as a starting point and rewrite it so it sounds like you.
- Consent and follow-up. If the person declines or doesn’t reply, let it go. One gentle follow-up is reasonable; more is pressure. If the conversation happens, close the loop: thank them, and share anything you said you would.
Worked example
Fictional example
Marcus is a product manager at a mid-sized lender. He receives a suggestion to meet Elena, a compliance lead who posts regularly in an AI governance Circle he joined last month.
The likely reason: both have written about documenting how risk models are tested.
The profile review: Elena says she is open to peer exchange on governance frameworks and not to vendor conversations. Marcus’s team is building an internal tool, so there is no sales angle, but he decides to say so up front.
The assumption check: Elena is more senior and visibly busy. Marcus keeps the request small and specific.
First draft
Hi Elena, the AI says we should connect! Would love to pick your brain sometime.
What he sent
Hi Elena, Collasia suggested we might want to meet, and after reading your posts in the governance Circle I can see the overlap. My team is writing our first model documentation standard for an internal credit-scoring tool, and your point about separating intended use from tested use has stayed with me. Would you be open to a 20-minute call in the next few weeks to compare how your team decides what goes into that documentation? This is internal work; I’m not selling anything. No problem at all if the timing doesn’t suit.
The second message gives Elena enough to decide quickly. She knows why Marcus is writing, what he wants, how long it will take and that he has no commercial motive.
Boundaries
- A suggestion is not an endorsement, and it isn’t evidence that the other person wants to hear from you.
- Don’t send drafted text unedited as though you wrote it. If a tool helped, the final words should still be yours.
- Don’t reference anything you saw in a private Circle or community unless the other person shared it with you there.
- Declining a suggestion is a reasonable choice. Fewer, better conversations serve everyone.
One action to try with a professional peer
The next time you receive a suggested introduction, write one sentence answering “why this person, why now?” before you decide anything. Share the sentence with a colleague and ask whether it would make them want to reply.
Discussion prompt
What makes an introduction feel personal to you, even when you know a tool helped surface it?
