Reader situation
A colleague asks you to join a new project and you say yes before thinking. You have noticed recently that your patience is shorter, you forget things and your focus slips. Still, saying no feels like failure.
Central idea
Changes in concentration, patience or capacity can signal that your commitments need review. Before taking on more, look at the demands around you and consider support, rather than assuming you just need to try harder.
Practical steps
- Notice changes. List recent signs: irritability, forgetfulness, poor sleep, trouble concentrating.
- Review demands. Write down your current commitments and roughly how much time they need.
- Identify what you control. Mark which commitments you can delay, delegate or decline.
- Discuss support. Talk with your manager or a trusted colleague about priorities.
- Reassess commitments. Before agreeing to anything new, check it against your list.
Worked example
Fictional example
The people and details are invented to illustrate an approach. It reports no outcomes.
Ethan is asked to lead a new working group. He has noticed he is snapping at colleagues and losing track of tasks. He lists his commitments and realizes he is already at capacity. He tells the requester he can contribute in a month, or advise for one hour now, and asks his manager which of his current projects can slip.
Companion tool: Capacity check
Boundaries
- Stress has many causes, including workload and job design. Raise those with the right person.
- This guide does not treat stress, anxiety or burnout.
- If signs persist or worsen, talk to a healthcare professional.
Where to find support
If you are thinking about harming yourself, or someone else is in danger, call or text 988 in the US, or call 911 or your local emergency number.
For non-urgent support, start with your doctor or a licensed mental-health professional. In the US, SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, offers free, confidential referral 24 hours a day.
Outside the US, contact your local emergency number, your doctor or a national helpline in your country.
Sources consulted: WHO, Mental health at work; NIMH, Caring for Your Mental Health.
Member action
Review one new request against your current capacity before you agree to it.
Discussion prompt
What is a respectful way you have heard someone say “not right now” to a new commitment?
