Reader situation
You have been short with colleagues lately. You snapped in a meeting, sent a curt message and sighed loudly at a simple question. Afterwards you feel guilty and start to believe you are just a difficult person to work with.
Central idea
Repeated irritability deserves attention, but it is not a verdict on your character. Notice the circumstances, take responsibility for how your behavior affected others and seek help if it continues or gets worse.
Practical steps
- Describe the behavior. Write what you did and said, specifically, without labels.
- Identify the circumstances. Note what was going on: poor sleep, pressure, pain, worry, hunger.
- Repair the impact. Acknowledge it to the person affected: “I was short with you yesterday. That wasn’t fair.”
- Review support. Consider whether stress, health or workload needs attention, and who could help.
- Monitor recurrence. Over the next few weeks, notice whether it happens less, the same or more.
Worked example
Fictional example
The people and details are invented to illustrate an approach. It reports no outcomes.
Sofia snaps at a junior colleague for a small mistake and feels terrible afterwards. She notices she has slept badly all week and has a family situation weighing on her. She apologizes to the colleague the next morning and books an appointment with her doctor to talk about her sleep and stress.
Companion tool: Repair and reflection notes
Boundaries
- This guide does not diagnose or provide therapy.
- Persistent, severe or worsening irritability deserves professional support.
- Taking responsibility does not require sharing personal details.
Where to find support
If you are thinking about harming yourself, or someone else is in danger, call or text 988 in the US, or call 911 or your local emergency number.
For non-urgent support, start with your doctor or a licensed mental-health professional. In the US, SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, offers free, confidential referral 24 hours a day.
Outside the US, contact your local emergency number, your doctor or a national helpline in your country.
Sources consulted: NIMH, Caring for Your Mental Health.
Member action
Acknowledge one specific impact and consider whether more support is needed.
Discussion prompt
What makes an apology at work feel genuine?
