Reader situation
You are working longer and longer hours. Part of it is genuine workload, but you also notice that work feels easier than the things waiting at home: a strained relationship, a health worry, grief, money problems. Staying late means you do not have to think about them.
Central idea
Overwork can become a way of avoiding problems that still need attention. Noticing what work is helping you avoid, and what support or changes might be needed, lets you address the real issue rather than burying it under more tasks.
Practical steps
- Notice the patterns. Track when you choose to work extra hours and what you were feeling just before.
- Separate workload from avoidance. Ask honestly: is this extra work required, or am I choosing it to avoid something?
- Identify unmet needs. Write down the non-work issue that may be getting pushed aside.
- Explore support. Consider who could help with that issue: a friend, a doctor, a counselor, a specialist service.
- Select an adjustment. Choose one evening this week to finish on time and spend some of it on the issue you have been avoiding.
Worked example
Fictional example
The people and details are invented to illustrate an approach. It reports no outcomes.
Rosa has been staying at the office until 9 pm. Her notes show it happens most on days when she would otherwise face a difficult conversation at home about her father’s health. She realizes the extra work is not required. She leaves at 6 pm on Thursday, calls her sister to plan her father’s care and books time with a counselor.
Companion tool: Avoidance check
Boundaries
- Heavy workloads are real; this is not only a personal issue. Raise unsustainable demands with your manager.
- Routines are not treatment for anxiety, burnout or addiction.
- If you feel unable to cope, seek professional support.
Where to find support
If you are thinking about harming yourself, or someone else is in danger, call or text 988 in the US, or call 911 or your local emergency number.
For non-urgent support, start with your doctor or a licensed mental-health professional. In the US, SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, offers free, confidential referral 24 hours a day.
Outside the US, contact your local emergency number, your doctor or a national helpline in your country.
Sources consulted: WHO, Mental health at work; NIMH, Caring for Your Mental Health.
Member action
Privately identify one non-work issue that deserves attention, and one step you will take on it.
Discussion prompt
How can teams make it normal to leave on time when the work allows it?
