Reader situation
A colleague or Circle member seems to be struggling. They have been withdrawn, made a worrying comment or shared that they are having a hard time. You want to help but are not sure how, and you do not want to overstep or end up out of your depth.
Central idea
A peer can listen, show concern and encourage appropriate help, while respecting their own limits. You do not need to diagnose, demand details or manage someone’s recovery to be a good support.
Practical steps
- Ask permission. In private, ask whether they would like to talk: “I’ve noticed you seem stressed. Would it help to talk?”
- Listen without labels. Listen more than you speak, and avoid diagnosing or judging.
- Express concern. Say plainly that you care: “I’m concerned about you.”
- Encourage suitable support. Suggest professional help or services, and offer to help them find contact details if they want.
- Set your limits. Be clear about what you can and cannot do, and look after yourself too.
Worked example
Fictional example
The people and details are invented to illustrate an approach. It reports no outcomes.
Ruth notices that a member of her Circle, Ken, has posted that he “can’t keep going like this.” She sends him a private message asking how he is. He says work and home are overwhelming. She listens, tells him she is concerned and asks whether he has someone to talk to. When he says no, she shares the details of a support line and checks in a few days later. Because his words worried her, she also asks gently whether he is safe.
Companion tool: Peer support limits
Boundaries
- Peers do not diagnose, prescribe or manage recovery.
- If someone may be at risk of harming themselves or others, contact emergency services or a crisis line.
- Do not share what someone told you without their consent, unless there is a safety risk.
Where to find support
If you are thinking about harming yourself, or someone else is in danger, call or text 988 in the US, or call 911 or your local emergency number.
For non-urgent support, start with your doctor or a licensed mental-health professional. In the US, SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, offers free, confidential referral 24 hours a day.
Outside the US, contact your local emergency number, your doctor or a national helpline in your country.
Sources consulted: US Department of Labor, Recovery-Ready Workplace Toolkit; WHO, Mental health at work; NIMH, Caring for Your Mental Health.
Member action
Offer a private check-in and ask what kind of support is welcome.
Discussion prompt
What is the most helpful thing someone said to you when you were having a hard time?
