Reader situation
Someone important to you has died. You are back at work, or never left, and you are trying to carry on as normal. But concentration comes and goes, some tasks feel impossible and you are not sure what, if anything, to tell colleagues.
Central idea
Grief can change what feels manageable, and everyone experiences it differently. Practical communication, support and some flexibility can help, without anyone setting a timeline for when you should feel better.
Practical steps
- Identify practical needs. What would help right now: time off, flexible hours, fewer meetings, help with a deadline?
- Consider what to share. Decide what you want colleagues to know. A brief statement is often enough.
- Review your workload. Identify what could be delayed, delegated or simplified.
- Seek support. Lean on friends and family, and consider a counselor or grief support group.
- Reassess over time. Your needs may change; revisit any arrangements in a few weeks.
Worked example
Fictional example
The people and details are invented to illustrate an approach. It reports no outcomes.
Elena’s mother died last month. She tells her manager: “I’m back, but my concentration isn’t fully there. Could I step back from the client pitch for a few weeks?” She tells her team only that she has had a bereavement. Her manager agrees, and they plan to check in after three weeks. Elena also joins a local grief support group.
Companion tool: Grief and work request
Boundaries
- There is no right way or timeline to grieve.
- You decide what to share at work.
- If grief brings thoughts of self-harm or makes daily life very difficult, seek professional support.
Where to find support
For grief, family or relationship strain, a doctor, licensed counselor or local support group can help. If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 in the US. If you feel unsafe at home, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
Outside the US, contact your local emergency number, your doctor or a national helpline in your country.
Sources consulted: WHO, Mental health at work.
Member action
Prepare a short, practical request for support if you want one.
Discussion prompt
What has helped you or a colleague return to work after a loss?
